Children are a delight to be with, but can be very demanding. If they are not requesting for new toys, they are requesting for snacks, drinks, games, vacation, just name it. Parents sometimes get overwhelmed by these unending demands from their children. Often times, in the bid to resist a child from making numerous demands, parents always give the “YES” answer.
For example, a child says to the Mum; Mum! Can we go to the park and play? The Mum says yes, we will. Hence the child keeps pestering the mother to fulfill that request, but she never did, even after affirming by saying “Yes we will”.
The next day the child drives past a bicycle shop with the father. The child says to the father. Dad! can you buy this bicycle for me please? The child keeps making this request till they got home. The dad eventually said yes, this was because he doesn’t want the disturbance again, and giving the “Yes” answer will make the child to keep calm. Every other day the child persists with numerous demands. Usually, children from the age of 3-10years are in this category.
Unfortunately, parents fail to foresee or understand that when you give your word to your child and never keep it. First, you lose your integrity before the child. Integrity It is knowing that your word is your bond. It is being mindful of what you say, and mean what you say. There ought to be harmony between what is said and done. When you lose this, your child won’t trust you again.
Second, not only have you lost your integrity before your child, you have modelled lack of it to the child. Therefore, the child who by default learns through observation will begin to practice what you have taught him/her over time. These are subtle ways children learn to lie.
How do you create a balance, to maintain your integrity and also stay sane from these unending demands from children?
Here is a principle I use in my home. My husband and I introduced budgeting to our children. We took out time to teach them the meaning of budgeting and how much money we can save as we practice it. When they make demands, -because you can’t stop them from doing that- we simply say it’s not in our budget. We taught them consistently that they felt our heart beat, and It amazes me how they feel so cool with our responses.
Once a request is made, especially all those frivolities, we say, it’s not in our budget. When they demand for items we know they need, like educational materials etc., we make provisions for them. However, sometimes they play with our emotions that you just want to satisfy them. Oh yes! We all fall for that sometimes. But when our emotions are subtly attacked, we say to them, you will get this request on your next birthday. And we must ensure those items are made available that day. This way, you build trust and confidence. It also gives you time to save up, and make the child not to believe in impossibilities. It’s possible but might take time.
Ofcourse they can have some requests granted, but you must strike a balance. Don’t encourage waste, buying things they don’t need because you can afford them always. When you practice this principle, it creates a ripple effect. Your child will automatically learn Contentment, Patience and Prudence, which are core values for a daily living.
Imagine how great your child/children will be, if they imbibe these values and are intentional about it. Together, we can consciously raise wholesome children. I hope this article helps a parent to strike a balance in his/her home. God bless Parents.
#Muchlove